


Macaroons and Making Amends

by magicdoggo57



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Baking as a Coping Mechanism, Light Angst, Mention of Therapy, Nightmares, Reconciliation, Recovery, minor flashbacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:27:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23868259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magicdoggo57/pseuds/magicdoggo57
Summary: It’s been five years since the Day of Story and Song. Macaroons are made and conversations are had. A look at Lucretia post-canon and her relationship with Taako (very Lucretia-centric.)
Relationships: Lup & Taako (The Adventure Zone), The Director | Lucretia & Lup, The Director | Lucretia & Taako
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	Macaroons and Making Amends

Twentieth time’s the charm, right? Lucretia sighed as she readied the newest batch of macaroons. She felt a gust of warm air from the oven as she placed the baking sheet inside, hoping they’d turn out better this time. She’d seen Taako make macaroons hundreds of times over the years. Him and Lup bouncing around the kitchen in the same dance they’d done over and over. Piping the batter in small, perfect circles. Cooking them just long enough for them to come out puffy and flawless. Taako smugly grinning at the crew as they praised his macaroons for the millionth time. She missed those days. Even with all the death and trauma they witnessed, there were so many moments full of joy, laughter, and love. She felt her eyes tearing up at the memories and quickly wiped them away. 

As the macaroons baked, Lucretia looked around her home. Her  _ home _ . While the Starblaster had been home for a hundred years, it wasn’t quite the same with imminent destruction looming in the distance. It was hard for her to truly grasp that this was it. She was safe and there was no Hunger coming to take away everything in a year. She was allowed to really live. Her house was quaint and secluded, just a little ways outside of Neverwinter. A small garden grew in the backyard, intermingled with bright flowers. There was a small porch out front, courtesy of Magnus, though more often than not it went unused. 

She wasn’t isolated, not by a long shot. Most weeks her schedule was completely full with Bureau of Benevolence rebuilding efforts and whatnot. She had spent the first few years after the Day of Story and Song working tirelessly day in and day out. Eventually she realized that her efforts were not sustainable. Her therapist had recommended she “stop working 140-hour weeks, Lucretia, you have to know that’s not good for you.” They had settled on her working 12 hours a day, 5 days a week. Still a heavy workload, but it gave her time to build a life outside of work. 

It had been a long and hard process for Lucretia to start caring for herself. The nightmares she faced after the Day of Story and Song were almost worse than the century of travel. The horrors she faced in her dreams were all of her own making. She had caused her friends, her family, so much heartbreak in a misguided and vain attempt at doing the right thing. Good intentions fall short when your actions devestate those you love. She convinced herself that all the nightmares and exhausting days were what she deserved. 

With help from her therapist and friends, however, she had made a lot of progress. She learned to accept that the mistakes she made in the past were just that: the past. Reliving those mistakes and punishing herself would help no one. However furious her family was, they didn’t want to see her punishing herself on their behalf. This was difficult for Lucretia to wrap her mind around; that her family could be furious with her and also not want to see her in pain. While time didn’t heal the guilt and pain she felt, it did give her the space to learn how to cope with those feelings and live alongside them. 

Lucretia had managed to pick up a few real hobbies in the past five years, since everyone around her insisted “the Bureau of Benevolence isn’t a hobby, Lucretia.” While she disagreed initially, eventually she relented. On her days off she spent time painting and knitting. Even after five years, she still couldn’t bring herself to pick up a pen. Her hands would shake and her throat would close up, her mind vividly reliving the Voidfish and the look on her family’s face at her betrayal. Lucretia did miss writing though. She was only in her fifties, though, so there was time enough for her to take on that challenge. 

For now, her challenge was macaroons, because it had been five years since she and Taako had spoken and that needed to end. She knew part of it was her selfishness. Her anxiety and nightmares persisted, Taako’s words ringing in her ears every night:  _“you fucking took everything from me!_ ” She wanted it to stop. Hell, she’d even settle for having different venomous words haunting her nightmares, just  something different. 

It wasn’t just that though. Lucretia  _ missed _ Taako. The reason her betrayal had hurt him so deeply was because they had been family. She spent a hundred years living with him every single day, learning all the little habits and ticks that there were to learn. It was her fault she’d lost that closeness, Lucretia knew that much, but she also knew that it was up to her to take the steps to repair their relationship. Just because it would never be the same as before didn’t mean that it was worth throwing away. Even if Taako never trusted her or forgave her, there was still something there to be salvaged. If Lucretia was anything, she was determined. 

The oven dinged, bringing her back into reality. She removed the macaroons from the oven. They were perfect, finally, and it make her heart stop momentarily. This was it. Her minuscule attempt at a peace offering was finally ready, and she couldn’t put off seeing Taako any longer. No more excuses. She took a deep breath, plated the macaroons, and called Lup.

Lup arrived directly into Lucretia’s kitchen and portaled them to the front of Taako’s home. Lup looked over Lucretia, noticing the tightness in her shoulders and her short, quick breaths. 

“Hey, take a deep breath babe,” Lup said gently, putting a hand on Lucretia’s shoulder. Lucretia reached up and squeezed her hand. 

“Thank you for bringing me. I know Taako will probably be upset with you fo-“

“Nope, don’t do that! It is my choice to help my friend and Taako can be a grown up and deal with it.” Lup smiled at Lucretia, who weakly smiled back. 

“Wish me luck,” Lucretia said, voice wavering.   
“Good luck, Lucy,” Lup said before she blew her a kiss and stepped through a portal. 

Lucretia took a moment to take in the sight in front of her. The house was impossible to miss.The majority of the house was a deep navy, nearly black, but it was clear that Taako had played a part in the design. Neon blues and greens decorated the trim around the first floor windows. A balcony stretched out across the second floor, painted a bright magenta. The door was an intricate blend of reds and oranges, so interwoven and so bright it seemed to flicker and glow right before her eyes. Taking another shaky breath, Lucretia knocked. 

“Magnus, how many times do I have to tell you, you don’t need to knock— oh.” Taako’s playfully annoyed expression hardened into the same face he had every time he’d looked at her in the past five years — cold, aloof, uninterested. 

“To what do I owe the pleasure,  _ Madame Director _ ? Coming to take away more of what I love in the name of the greater good?” Taako sneered. Lucretia opened her mouth to speak but he cut her off. 

“Or wait, let me guess, you’ve come to apologize again? ‘Oh Taako, I’m so sorry for taking away everything you love, I hope these words with fix everything!’”

“STOP!” Lucretia shouted, much stronger and more confident than she expected. Her posture took on that of the Director, and she channeled the confidence in herself that once came effortlessly.

“I made you macaroons,” she said, praying her voice wouldn’t give out on her. “I know things are broken beyond belief between us, but nothing is going to change if we keep ignoring it. I figure if you can’t enjoy my company yet you can at least enjoy my baking.” Lucretia stood still, staring unwaveringly at Taako. Her guilt would not get the best of her this time. Not again. Taako looked at the plate of macaroons, then at Lucretia. 

“Not interested,” Taako said, eyes still cold and distant. With that, he slammed the door, leaving Lucretia standing alone on the porch. Gently, she placed the plate on the doorstep and called Lup to take her home. Neither of them spoke, but Lup hugged her tightly before leaving. 

Lucretia expected to feel...different. She knew Taako might respond this way (no matter how much she hoped differently.) She didn’t feel the devastating guilt, sadness, or loss that had plagued her for years. Instead she just felt tired, and a little wistful. After sitting lost in thought for a few hours, Lucretia got up and made her nightly cup of tea. She nibbled on some of the previous versions of her macaroons, these ones a little too burnt and a little too chewy. She sketched the flowers that sat in a vase on her bedstand table until her eyes felt heavy. She closed the notebook, crawled into a bed, and immediately fell asleep. 

Lucretia awoke to a sunlit room. Judging by the brightness, she guessed it must be close to noon. She didn’t have any plans for the day, so she took her time getting ready. As she put the finishing touches on a pile of pancakes, her Stone of Farspeech lit up. She stared at it for a second, frozen, then answered answering. Before she could say anything, a voice cut in.

“Hot diggity dog! Those were some pretty damn good macaroons. I didn’t know you had it in you. Not enough to make up for a decade of betrayal of course, but good.” Taako’s voices lilted through the stone, sharp but not unkind. 

“You...ate them?” Lucretia said, voice quiet and hopeful.

“Well yeah, how else would I know what they taste like? Someone didn’t drink their nerd juice today apparently.”

Lucretia laughed but quickly covered her mouth, not wanting to ruin the moment. Taako continued. 

“I hope you aren’t expecting me to forgive you for everything just because you made me some macaroons. Like, cool trick, but the bar for forgiveness is so far up there might not even be a bar, you feel me?” 

Lucretia could feel her throat closing up, and her hands begin to shake. 

“Of course. I just thought that I should at least attempt to reach out, even if nothing came of it.” Lucretia could feel herself beginning to ramble but couldn’t stop. “You deserve to stay angry at me for as long as you like, I just hoped that we could at least learn to be civil, not that any of this is your fault, everything you’ve said is valid and I don’t mean to— to do anything to hurt you again— gods I’m so sorry if I crossed a line by coming there, I never meant to—“

“Lucretia, breathe.” Taako said, exasperated. Lucretia took a deep breath, and felt tears rolling down her cheek. Thank god this was over a Stone of Farspeech. If she started crying in front of Taako, really crying, she wasn’t sure she’d ever stop.

“Hey, you still there?” Taako asked.

“Yeah, yeah I’m good,” Lucretia said, voice breaking.

“Ugh, you’ve always been a terrible liar. Look, I’m not forgiving you and I’m still super pissed at you. I don’t pity you or feel bad for you because you brought this all on yourself with your choices. You made your bed and it sucks and now you gotta lie in it or whatever.” Lucretia held her breath.

“But it might not be the worst thing in all the planes if we learned to exist in the same room without enough tension to shatter a knife, ya know?”

“Taako thank you so much, you have no idea how much that means to me,” Lucretia spoke hurriedly. 

“Natch, don’t make a big deal about it. I still can’t deal with you in person for long, or often, or alone. But Candlenights is a few months away. If you wanted to possibly show up for the celebration, I promise I won’t Magic Missle you on sight. But for the love of JeffAndrew don’t bring up the decade where you decided to erase our memories and try to apologize again. I’m still a level 16 wizard with  plenty of spell slots to burn.”

Lucretia sniffled, but the tears were happy this time. 

“Thank you Taako. I think I can manage that.”

“I’ll see you then Lucretia. It... wasn’t completely terrible talking to you.” Taako said. 

“It wasn’t completely terrible talking to you either,” Lucretia responded. Her Stone of Farspeech clicked off. 

Lucretia sat and cried for a long time. It was a mixture of joy, fear, hope, and everything in between. It wasn’t all better, not by a long shot. She wasn’t forgiven or loved or even regarded as a friend, but it was a start. Every great friendship has a beginning. As for Taako and Lucretia, their friendship began again, five years after the end of the world, with a plate of macaroons. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic ever, thank you so so much to anyone who reads this! Criticism will not be accepted at this time because I’m fragile but comments and kudos are much appreciated!!


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